Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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