Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize