You can't motorboat a personality
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There r osticjed everywhere
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
