ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
how drunk are you?
Several
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
