youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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