what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
