Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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