this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
