Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
