Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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