The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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