I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
