he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
