yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
