I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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