I cannot find my penis.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
