I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
