Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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