No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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