i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
