the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
