they said they heard you say put it in my butt
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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