he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
