And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
