i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
