There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
two words: eviction party
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
