For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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