It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm having to shit out rocks
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
