we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
