It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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