Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
did i just pee glitter
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
