i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
