If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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