So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
