Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
