Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
