Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize