Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
