If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
