this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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