The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Bring me that man meat
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
