if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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