"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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