Please, let me fuck your mom
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
