I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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