you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
