There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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