i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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