carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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