Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
