I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
