Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
