She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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