your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize